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Merenung,
Belakangan ini merenung jadi salah satu kegiatan favorit di waktu senggang antara pukul 9.00 PM – 11.00 PM, selain nonton televisi tentunya.
Banyak hal yang bisa direnungkan, lebih tepatnya banyak hal yang saya ingin renungkan. Topik yang paling sering dan utama adalah mau kemana saya setelah menjalani semua ini. Sering juga saya berpikir apa terlalu jauh saya merenung,”kok masih umur segini udah mikir mau kemana, bukannya malah jalanin dulu???”. Hidup ini memang sangat cepat….secepat saya berjalan menjalaninya selama ini. Pertanyaan yang timbul kemudian adalah, apa sebenarnya tujuan saya ini??
Let’s see……Masa lalu selalu terlihat jauh dibelakang dan masa depan seperti terowongan yang gelap dan bercabang. saya tidak mengerti kenapa saya bisa berpijak ditanah ini sekarang. Apa yang menggerakkan saya?? Apakah pengakuan diri?? Atau karena saya berjalan mengikuti system??
Rasanya terlalu munafik jika saya menyebut diri inilah satu-satunya pendorong hingga saya berada pada kondisi sekarang. Terlalu banyak faktor dan makhluk yang harus saya beri ucapan terima kasih untuk semua ini. Tapi kembali pada diri sendiri, setidaknya saya secara tidak sadar berjalan untuk mencapai suatu tujuan…atau bisa juga disebut saya bergerak dalam satu jalur yang diatur meskipun alurnya zig-zag….Ironis sebenarnya jika mengatakan demikian, karena saya sendiri adalah penentang dari aturan-aturan baku…
Tapi jika dipikir ulang dengan logika dengkul….Jalan saya yang zig-zag ini juga merupakan hal yang sudah diatur dan saya hanya bermain mengikutinya….di jalan yang manapun yang akansaya pilih ini masalah juga timbul, dan respon saya akan menentukan langkah saya selanjutnya, mau zig zag ke kiri, kanan, ataupun lurus…yang jelas mundur adalah hal yang mustahil….
Serinkali saya menertawakan diri ini….yang terlihat sangat kecil jika membayangkan komunitas di dunia ini yang begitu besar, belum lagi jika dibandingkan dengan seluruh alam semesta…..Lalu, untuk apa saya yang kecil ini disini?? Menguasai semuanya?? Jelas tidak mungkin……saya hanya bisa bermain di dalamnya….
Learning by doing…???
What a simple word to say, but a difficult thing to do….in my mind I bear that I should have knowledge as many as I could to learn. But a component from learning itself ; time; is often become my constraint to get into the standard learning process such as, reading books, viewing sample cases, searching related article in the network, etc. As I have a responsibilities in my job now, it could waste my time and can bother my project schedule. I wonder what will happen if in some other time I get married and have children(s)…my time to learn is almost below 5% from my daytime hours.
From the time being, I’m interested in learning other languages and programming. The Languages meaning here are internationally recognized such as English and Japanese. The programming I intent to mastered is macro excel/VBA programming for internal reports and data analysis.
Let’s talk about language first. I’d love to saw Japanese movie as well as English since junior high school. Many friends of mine asked “why you are so good writing in English (speaking is different matter)? You don’t even take any courses?” . Well, all that I can say is I watch Hollywood movie pretty much and not only watching, i like to hear their voices and act like involved in the movie itself. That’s is the similar examples for my topics above. I learn English phrase and vocabulary from the movie itself not from the books. That’s why you all will found that my English is doesn’t have a good structure, it because they are a usual conversations. Hey…men from US or british are sometimes not so good in writing grammarize writing, as well as I don’t use E.Y.D in my daily conversations..Hehehe..The important principal for me is “You know, I Know, and We both Know”…that is more than enough..
Japanese is another thing, this is because I adore their society and how they respected each other, you can find it out when you see their conversation in the movie. I’m so excited to learn it…maybe Rama could help..hehehe…In my Office, we have many men from different nation, and among them I have an Indonesian friend named Denny whose been live and work in Osaka-Japan for 2 Years before he came back to Indonesia. I Usually say “Ohayou Denny San!” every morning to him. And the next thing happen when he counter me with Japanese Sentence I can only keep in silent don’t know what does it mean..such a jerk!!
The second thing I wanna talk in my post is about Macro programming / Visual Basic in Ms. Excel. It is a common used program/software that help us do analysis for data in the form of table. From my 4 years of study, I’ve known that from one Data table I can make many form of analysis type and results. I can also make a simple program using excel formulation like “Index, Sumif, Vlookup, etc). The next level of understanding is to make a program template and automatically operate it when I enter data into the root table. To make the program using “Start, If, then, Sub, End, Etc.” is not an easy thing to do…Reading E-books about macro excel from the network is boring and time wasting. well…as a matter of time itself, maybe I can use my project data as an input to make the program. Once again, learning by doing….
You too (reader) must be doing at least one thing in your life only by doing it…I Think our brain is more intelligent compared to any computer in the world. Such a miracle…
I wonder why many people should fight each other to make her/him self respected by their enemy. I am considering a way which I can manage to avoid fight and discuss instead of rudeness.
Everyone has his/her problem, and everybody knows that. It’s a matter of nature, so I can understand that the ways to react in one problem is different from one person to another.
I said this compared to a discussion happen in my blog lately, to be more specific; my previous post. I adore both opinion and I would like to say I won’t defend anyone. It’s in my principal that I respect someone’s choices to react for a matter. I won’t negotiate them to finish the debate, and I won’t provoke them. It’s their freedom to choose how to react on each other opinion, just like my freedom to argue any comment offended on me. It’s a free world right. If you don’t believe that we are a free man, the look at the sun, the air, and smell the favor. Close your eyes and see how beautiful you are in this sacred world.
See, as I already told that everyone has their own problem and the counter reaction from the can be some suggestion from them to counter react their next problem, and it will be their vision, and their principal about the thing which going on around them.
I always use my own method to solve my problem and knowing what is right for me without placing anyone in a difficult circumstances. It’s the way I used to handle my company’s client also. You know, the client is the boss, they will always, and they have right to control the production/fabrication of their own goods. That’s why they always complaining. I look this matter not from my side being offended, but from their side… why I being offended? Did I do something wrong according to the procedure and standard? Did I say something terrible to him? That is I called a self introspection, this is not for him, not for my company, but for my own. I can manage my feel and manage my anger, both are like a time bomb, difficult to handle and sometimes can blow in the matter of anytime.
It’s a simple thing to think and said, but very difficult to do, that’s why I always remind myself to keep calm. For example in a free debate meeting with no ending and always arguing, I prefer go outside and take a cigarette, and then think about good thing. Then I can calm myself. After that I can go back to the meeting and do I want to do with calm heart and fresh minded.
I am young and energic but have little experience compared to my other colleagues, but that wont make me down. Hey…!! I have something you don’t have, I have my freedom to choose my own way to react, you can follow your procedures, I have mine. As long as it match with the company culture and not making the project become slow down, it doesn’t matter. I am a free man with responsibility…Such idealistic maybe you all think, but sometimes I need to be one, because of one reasons: “I am the leader of myself, and with doing my thing in my own way I can perfectly responsible for any reaction I’ve been doing to solve the problem”
